By Matthias Black – Free the Kink
If they want to have sex with you, they are not a mentor.
If you want to have sex with them, you are not looking for a mentor.
If they try to run your life or deny your access to other people or other sources in order to further your BDSM education, they are not a mentor.
If you are looking for someone to run your life, make decisions for you, tell you what you can read, tell you who see, or tell you who you can speak with about BDSM, you are not looking for a mentor.
According to Merrimack-Webster’s dictionary, a mentor is “A trusted counselor or guide”…A mentor is there to answer your questions, offer you advice, and point you in the right direction to find the answers you need…Not necessarily find the answers for you. A mentor is there to tell you when you are about to screw up…Not to save you from your own hormones. A mentor is a person that has the flexibility of a snake, the ethics of a saint, a spine made out of steel as well as having the patience of the biblical character, Job. In other words: A mentor is not a fuck buddy, not a “friend with benefits”, not a play partner and not someone to order you around. Do not let a predator in mentor’s clothing attempt to use you.