Jealousy and Envy pack a 1-2 punch – and it’s totally expected! While big emotions can be uncomfortable at times, feelings of jealousy and envy can really take us by surprise.
It happens when we think something in particular belongs to just us and we don’t want to share. I always think of Spiderman’s upside down kiss and Mary Jane’s reaction when he did the kiss for publicity with another woman. It happens when someone gets more of something than we have making ours “less than equal” like when children are handed ice cream, some look around to be sure everyone has one and others check to see if they have the biggest. And, It happens when your partner is receiving attention from another person and it arouses something uncomfortable in us which can feel distressing.
So what happens when “HELP, I’m Feeling Jealous! What do I do now?”
Acknowledge the feeling and NAME IT without judging it
Talk it out! How you’re feeling won’t go away just cuz you keep it bottled up. Practice neutral self-talk any time you are comparing what someone else has goin on
REMEMBER: the grass is greener where you water it
REFLECT & CONSIDER:
What is causing me to feel this emotion in this situation?
Is there any evidence to suggest that this will harm me? Is there any evidence to suggest that I am lacking?
Could this feeling have a deeper connection?
What do I need in this moment?
IMPROVE YOUR SELF-TALK with truth statements:
My partner has not broken our relationship agreement in the past
I trust my partner(s) and our relationship is strong
I know my emotions will be supported if I ask for help
I’ve felt anxious before – I know this is uncomfortable, and I know this feeling will pass
What worked when you were coping with jealousy or envy?