Modern Rules of Conscious Uncoupling

Conscious uncoupling could make breaking up easier to do. 

You probably heard some journalists snicker when actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently used the term to describe her separation from her husband, Chris Martin.

What you may have missed was a number of prominent psychologists expressed their

approval of the conscious uncoupling approach. In fact, the process includes many

principles that have been part of marriage and divorce counseling for years.

You can try it for yourself whether you live in Beverly Hills or not. See how to

complete a relationship and move ahead without the usual distress.

Let Go of Blame – Write Your Memory Narrative 

1. Perspective is your prerogative, so accept that relationships change. It’s okay if you meet one partner who you want to spend your entire life with. On the other hand, any relationship can be a success if you treat your partner well and emerge from it as a better person, even if it doesn’t last forever. Focus on the quality of your connections rather than

the duration.  

Admit to What You Want – Embrace Your Inner Villain 

2. Enjoy being single?  It’s easier to keep loss in perspective when you liberate

yourself from any stigma attached to being single. You are capable of having a

full life whether you’re on your own or part of a couple. But if you aren’t sure how to answer that question, lets pin down the problem: You don’t know what you want. Everyone can go on and on about what they DON’T want, but if I asked you to write your dream filled with all the things you do want, it turns out we aren’t so good at dreaming big.  Because if we admit all we want, we feel we have to do the work to get it!  It’s only your DREAMS after all.  

  • Articulate your goals, clearly stating timing and a way to measure success
  • Uncover what you really want by identifying your motivators
  • Bust your own excuses and self sabotaging 
  • Curiously imagine possibilities and create action plans 
  • Develop intimacy with yourself

Know You Can Fly when the Branch Breaks

3. Commit to being civil. It doesn’t matter who you kiss, it matters how you treat them.  Polite thoughts and words reinforce positive emotions. Being respectful towards each other will protect your peace of mind and make compassion flow more easily.  You will walk with a new perspective inspired by attainable possibilities.

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